I Don't Even Know Why I Bother

There's this boy. (No groans from the peanut gallery. You can just go away.)

His name is Shawn. He's worked in toys, right next to my department, for about three months now. A few weeks ago, we went and saw the third Mummy movie together. Then, we hung out at his friends' house. They're all very geeky people. They love me. I'm off topic.

Anyway, I got invited to join a D&D game at their house, with Shawn. Shawn's had a crush in me for about 3 months. I've had one on him for about 2. We've both played "dance around the topic" for quite a while. Finally, last week I just gave up and cornered him as we were leaving, and out of the blue asked him if he was interested. Once he could form a thought again, he said yes. I told him it was mutual.

It's been a while since then. I've seen him every day since then. Nothing's happened. He's too shy to do anything about it, I'm afraid. Which upsets me, because I really like him. Conversations with him are always interesting, thought-provoking, and full of chemistry without the innuendoes. I'm genuinely attracted to him, not just lusting like I normally do.

The problem is, us going anwhere will require me breaking several of my own rules. I work with him. (I don't date coworkers.) He's younger than me. He's my brother's age. ( I don't date younger men.) He's sweet. (I like jerks.) He's a virgin. Never had a girlfriend. Never been kissed. (No, no, and no. Way too much pressure.) He's a geek. (I can't take him home to my family.) I'm leaving in December. (I don't do long-distance relationships. I don't even really do relationships.) One of us is going to get hurt. (I don't intentionally hurt people I care about.) He's everything I 've never wanted or expected out of a guy, nothing I ever thought I'd like. Nothing I every expected to need. Nothing like I've ever known a guy to be like before. He reads Nora Roberts, for Christssake...

The longer he waits, the more I realize that being interested isn't a good idea. I want him to hurry.

I want to not like him.
I don't want to miss out on this chance.
I don't want to make a mistake.
I want to deserve him.
I don't want to get hurt.
I don't want to hurt him.

I want to know.