Happy-Perky-Secretary-Person Syndrome

Happy-Perky-Secretary-Person Syndrome is a term coined by my friend Chase to describe the way I act when working, or putting up with people I don't like.

It has been honed by years of training. Working as a customer service specialist at Sonic for two years meant my job was to go deal with the people screaming because my managers' lacked to social skills not to yell back. I can sincerely say "I'm sorry that happened; How can I fix it?" in my sleep. Working at a truck stop allowed me to master the I'm-too-ditzy-and-naive-to-know-you-just-said-something-inappropriate, so that I can smile, nod blankly, and giggle with while in my head I'm going "Eeeeeeeeeew, you're fifty and haven't showered in a week, don't touch me!" Being the funeral director's daughter lets me be sympathetic and understanding, and growing up in FFA means I can pretend I remember you with the best of them. And being the annoying voice in the box at McDonald's means I can be cheerful and helpful, even when I WISH STUPID PEOPLE WOULD DIE AND NOT COME THROUGH DRIVE-THROUGH!! (Can you guess what inspired this post tonight?)

The only time the happy-perky-secretary personality cracks? The more pissed off I get, the sweeter I get, and the thicker my accent drips. Right before I really do snap, the day I actually gut someone like a trophy buck, I swear it'll sound like this. "I's just aahwful saahhrieE 'bout that, Mister. Iss'er sumpin I kin do-tah feex'it for yah?" followed by the Valley Girl Giggle. (Adopt a Southern Bell accent and read that out loud. Proceed to laugh hysterically. Everyone else does.)

And the more I watch people the more I see it, and can tell who's worked in service and/or food service occupations before. It makes me feel good to notice that I'm not crazy... People who need things make everyone else crazy, too!!