Stupid Little Twit

Meet my little brother. His name is Twit, and man, is he living up to it right now. And when I finally get my hands around his little neck, we're going to have a heart-to-heart about him reconnecting the side of his brain that tells him what's right and what's fun.

My little brother and I were pretty close when we were growing up. Typical brother and sister tear-each-others-eyes-out-I-hate-you-Mom-he's-touching-me-I'm-not-touching-you-stay-on-your-side-of-the-car-you're-on-my-side! kind of feuding, but we were mostly pretty close. We talked about a lot, very honestly, and spent a lot of time together on the golf course, and in a car on the way to a golf course. When I moved to college, we still stayed fairly close, even though we ran in different social groups, and were very different kinds of people.

This year, my little brother started his freshman year of college 4 hours away from me. He got a scholarship to play golf at a private minority Christian College. $16,000 a year. Plus, he gets a $2,000 stipend a year.

He's about to get himself kicked out of college. Skipping classes, sleeping through practice, and was even taken to jail, but released when the police realized it was just a wrong place, wrong time scenario. Weekend before last, he was supposed to go visit my Mahaw and Pahaw, who are thirty minutes from him on vacation. At 4:30 in the afternoon, after 23 phone calls from all kinds of people, his hangover cleared enough for him to wake up. Scared us all to death. Last weekend, he had to go to Kansas for a golf tournament. He showed up to the bus so hung over, he was puking. Coach called Dad, who was on his way to see the tournament. Twit was bumped down to last man on the team, and is now on probation for violating the morality clause in his scholarship contract.

So, to celebrate the last tournament of the season, the whole team went out and got drunk last night. And, he was still in bed, hungover, at 2:30 this afternoon when I called to say hi. Course, he was the DD last night, so he was just hung over. They other guys were still drunk >>insert whiny little boy voice here<<.

I'm gonna kill him.