I've Got Nothing to Talk About

I've got nothing to talk about... It's been a slow day, and it'll be a slow evening. I go in to work a little later, which will be fun.

So, I'm going to tell you about the time I met Paris Hilton and Nichole Ritchie. I was waiting table for Flying J in my little hometown, and saw a black-shirted bulky dangerous-looking man conversing with our manager. There were only three of us on the floor, so, of course, we huddle up and try to decide who he is and what he wants. (Don't ever let anyone tell you waitresses don't gossip. They're lying.)

While we're watching, he turns and walks off, and my manager makes a beeline for us. She shoos away the other two girls (who are 16 and 17, I am 18, which makes me Head Wait for the evening, since they can't do a lot of things. Like use knives. Company Policy.) and proceeds to explain that "a couple of celebrities are coming in, they will be in the corner booth with two bodyguards, I am to wait on them, there will be a camera, and they must not be treated as special in any way, but," she hisses, "Make sure they are completely happy. This might be on TV."

And in walk Paris Hilton and Nichole Ritchie, filming The Simple Life 2. So, I seat them, and wait on them.

Paris had fish with a side of lemon, rice pilaf with no oil or butter used to make it, salad with raspberry vinegarette, and a bottle of Evian, and was a complete b**ch. Picked at her food with her noise in the air the whole time. Don't-look-at-me-don't-touch-me-those-people-are-sitting-too-close-make-them-leave-why-is-my-napkin-made-of-paper.

Nichole had Chicken fried steak, smothered in white gravy, mashed potatoes, mixed veggies, and onion rings, with iced tea. Ate half her plate. Was a total sweetheart, laughed, joked, asked about school, and in general, was just a nice person.

Left me a 15% tip, which equivalates to $4.50.


And that, Ladies and Gentleman, is the time I met Paris and Nichole.